Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Happy New Year

When the stories of the past no longer serve you, let them go...yeah right, that is easier said than done. Ask anyone who has tried and then watched it all go to hell as soon as the emotional energies of those demons rear their ugly, destructive heads.  I have my own stories that I have told myself. Some new, some old- all of them completely worthless, except they do have 1 thing that make them bearable...I get to see and feel what I NEED to change in myself.  I can sit and stew in all kinds of relentless, vile thoughts or I can say to myself ahhh this is what I am to focus on now and how can I make smile when all I want to do is rage, scream and cry.  I am not always happy about doing my inner work but I damn well know in my heart that I have to do it.  Mainly because I know that if I dont do it, nothing will change, I will make myself miserable and then I am the only one suffering.  Guess what?  I do not like to suffer.  I put up with only so much pain and then I am back to cultivating the actions and thoughts that will help me to help myself.  I have also found that it seems to be more work for me when its about the people I love. I am very careful with I love you's, its like an invitation to riding the worlds most hell-some roller-coaster.  But it's also the most rewarding when I have those breakthroughs and insights that give me the strength and courage to continue moving forward and to continue loving as unconditionally as possible.

It can be a dirty, lowdown hard ass job if you make it that way. I decided that no one, including myself was going to rob me of my precious energy with negative words, thoughts or behavior this New Year!

When I dont want to eat raw, I make myself a green shake or warm herbal tea.  When the urge to be ugly with someone arises, I bite my tounge and think about what I am trying to distract myself from learning by pointing fingers at others.  When I am stressed I sit in time out and I give myself space to put it together and get my head on straight.  Its work, its the only work that is important because its the foundation I am building my life on, building new stories that are flowing with love and self mastery.  New Stories that I want to tell myself and share with others. Stories that are not stories, but merely the simple, beautiful undiluted truth.

This year I am standing on my own two feet financially. This year I am not concerning myself with people who are negative and judgmental, whether they are friends, relatives or acquaintances.  This year I am being true to myself and practicing all the behaviors that I know will help me be free on the inside of my head and in my personal life.  I will be all that I can possibly be with my own help...by not interfering, by not sabotaging my own efforts.  The Universe, Angels and all Beings (humans included) of love, light & truth are my guides and my companions in this New Year and I will use their counsel wisely. 

I am Goddess
Hear me Roar

This is my new playground for the New Year...

Friday, December 25, 2009


I am giving over to the practice.  Its like with anything, if you just practice thoughtfully, intently and focused, than you can achieve a level of accomplishment in what ever you are practicing.  It takes time, commitment and determination.

I practice making raw food and because of that I have some raw food tricks up my sleeve and do manage to make some very satisfying meals and snacks. I don't try to claim I am a raw food chef or guru because that would be silly, there are folks far more suited to claim those titles and rightly so. They have, through their passion and dedication, worked for and earned recognition. I know they didn't get where they are without practicing their craft. It's the most essential part of growing and learning, practicing is what gets us to where we are going. It's what makes us strong.

I practice my faith. It has strengthened my inner life and is evident in my outer life as well.  Most people have a practice, whether its a spiritual one or just being in nature or connecting with the natural world in a gentle way, it is still practice.  It is part of who I am and when I practice my faith, I feel better.

Yoga practice has become incredibly important to me.  I see it not only as a necessity in my life but as a way to stay connected to my body and to work through more challenging energies that arise such as stress or emotional turmoil.  Yoga has saved me so many times, and has shown me the strong and capable version of myself that I wish to continue being actively aware of.  It makes my daily life flow, puts me in a state of awareness that is humbling and uplifting at the same time.  I can feel my body shifting into a balanced pose smoothly, as well as my thoughts and energy. It is work, its often hard but it's a good feeling to step into my day more confident and aware. These are just some of the things, I have found practice good for.


If I cannot forgive myself for all the blunders
That I have made over the years,
Then how can I proceed?
How can I ever dream perfection-dreams?
Move, I must, forward.
Fly, I must, upward.
Dive, I must, inward,
To be once more
What I truly am
And shall forever remain.

Practice :)